{"id":1762,"date":"2021-07-14T10:55:16","date_gmt":"2021-07-14T07:55:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/?p=1762"},"modified":"2021-07-14T10:55:16","modified_gmt":"2021-07-14T07:55:16","slug":"kiskanclik","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/?p=1762","title":{"rendered":"K\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>K\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131n ne oldu\u011funu soranlar olmu\u015f aran\u0131zda\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Daha detayl\u0131 anlatmam\u0131 istemi\u015fsiniz arada anlatt\u0131klar\u0131mdan\u2026<\/p>\n<p>O zaman<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>ba\u015flayay\u0131m ben yava\u015ftan.-)<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u2019 Seni bir \u015fi\u015feye koyup cebimde ta\u015f\u0131mak istiyorum\u2026 B\u00f6yle arada bir gitti\u011fim masada kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131 koyay\u0131m ama sen o \u015fi\u015fenin i\u00e7inden bak, hep cebimde, kalbimin \u00fczerinde ol, a\u015fkla ta\u015f\u0131yay\u0131m seni bir \u00f6m\u00fcr..\u2019\u2019 demi\u015fti bir erkek arkada\u015f\u0131m ona g\u00f6re ili\u015fkimizin en yak\u0131nla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131, en ili\u015fki gibi oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc zamanda\u2026 Ona g\u00f6re beni en en sevdi\u011fi and\u0131 bunlar\u0131 s\u00f6yledi\u011fi an, bana g\u00f6re de ili\u015fkinin bitti\u011fi an.-))<\/p>\n<p>Bi ba\u015fka erkek arkada\u015f\u0131m, \u2018\u2019kocaman bir bah\u00e7e gibi olsun hayat\u0131n ama etraf\u0131na elektrikli tellerle \u00f6rtt\u00fcreyim ben, kimsecikler gelemesin senin yan\u0131na\u2019\u2019 demi\u015fti\u2026 Ben yine bir &#8221;of allah\u0131m offf&#8221; an\u0131mda\u2026<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Baz\u0131 arkada\u015flar\u0131m bu s\u00f6zlerin ayr\u0131l\u0131k sebebi olmas\u0131n\u0131 anlamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi, bir de \u00e7ok romantik bulmu\u015ftu hat\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, benden ayr\u0131 ve ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z a\u015f\u0131k olmu\u015flard\u0131 erkek arkada\u015flar\u0131ma b\u00f6yle sevebildikleri i\u00e7in, ben daha da \u015fok kendi i\u00e7imde..<\/p>\n<p>Bu romantizm, a\u015fk, sevme \u015fekli gibi g\u00f6z\u00fckenlerin a\u015fkla- sevgi- romantizmle alakal\u0131 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hemen burada, bir kez daha belirtmek isterim. Nedir peki derseniz?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>De\u011fersizlik hissidir,<\/li>\n<li>Yetersizlik hissidir,<\/li>\n<li>Kaybetme korkusudur,<\/li>\n<li>Y\u00f6netme arzusudur,<\/li>\n<li>Sahiplenme iste\u011fi ve kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131nda ve yan\u0131nda sevgili dedi\u011fini metaya- mala d\u00f6nd\u00fcrme durumudur\u2026 Ve bunlar\u0131n hi\u00e7 birinin a\u015fkla ilgisi ve hatta alakas\u0131 yoktur.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>K\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k en saf haliyle bireye bak\u0131p, ondan daha yetersiz ya da de\u011fersiz oldu\u011funa karar verip, daha sonra sahip oldu\u011funa inand\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feyi o daha iyi oldu\u011funa inand\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feye kaybetme korkusudur. Yani en k\u0131sa haliyle k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k de\u011fersizlik duygusunun korkuyla kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131lmas\u0131d\u0131r. H\u0131yarla yo\u011furt kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131 cac\u0131k oldu, de\u011fersizlikle korku kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131 k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k oldu\u2026Nas\u0131l h\u0131yarla yo\u011furt cac\u0131k olduktan sonra art\u0131k tekrar ayr\u0131\u015ft\u0131ramazs\u0131n\u0131z, ad\u0131 cac\u0131kt\u0131r, korku ve de\u011fersizlik de k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k olduktan sonra ayr\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131lamaz, beraber \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131lmal\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n<p>\u0130nsanlar neden k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131n a\u015fka dair oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr?<\/p>\n<p>\u00d6yle d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek isterler de ondan en temelinde\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Seni \u00e7ok k\u0131skan\u0131yorum bir \u00e7ok insanda; beni seviyor- seviliyorum- se\u00e7ildim- yeterliyim- g\u00fczelim- seksiyim- farkl\u0131y\u0131m- \u00f6zelim- yeterliyim- bir \u00e7o\u011fundan daha iyiyim- \u00f6nemliyim- de\u011ferliyim vs vs vs gibi i\u00e7lerinin bo\u015f oldu\u011fu duygular\u0131 doldurmalar\u0131na destek verir. O y\u00fczden asl\u0131nda k\u0131skanan ve k\u0131skan\u0131lmaktan ho\u015flanan iki insan tencere kapak gibi birbirine tam uyumludur kendi yetersizlik duygular\u0131 sebebiyle\u2026<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>K\u0131ska\u00e7l\u0131k sadece sevgi ve a\u015fk ili\u015fkilerinde de\u011fil, arkada\u015flar gruplar\u0131nda, aile i\u00e7inde, kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z insanlar\u0131n ya\u015famsal imkanlar\u0131na da y\u00f6nelik olabilir, ki duygusal sebepler yine a\u015fa\u011f\u0131da ayn\u0131d\u0131r\u2026<\/p>\n<p>K\u0131skan\u0131lmak istiyorum diyen insanlar ana fikirde sevilmek- \u00f6zenilmek- ilgilenilmek- \u00f6zel oldu\u011fumu hissetmek- se\u00e7ilmek ,vs vs demek istiyorlar muhtemelen ama bunu ben de\u011fersizim diyen biri yaps\u0131n ki beni b\u0131rakmas\u0131 zorla\u015fs\u0131n diye de i\u00e7sel bir ekleme yap\u0131yorlar k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00f6zellikle belirtince sanki\u2026.-)<\/p>\n<p>K\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k duygusu organik bir duygu de\u011fildir\u2026<\/p>\n<p>O sebeple insan b\u00fcnyesi \u00fczerinde etkisi de di\u011fer duygulara g\u00f6re daha derinden hissedilir.. Daha yap\u0131\u015f yap\u0131\u015f, daha kanal t\u0131kay\u0131c\u0131d\u0131r\u2026<\/p>\n<p>S\u00f6z\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fcne gelirsek e\u011fer\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Kendi de\u011ferimizin fark\u0131nda, her g\u00fcn birbirimizi tekrar se\u00e7ti\u011fimiz ve sevmeye adanm\u0131\u015f hayatlar\u0131m\u0131zda ili\u015fkilerimizde bunu payla\u015f\u0131r oldu\u011fumuz, \u00f6zg\u00fcr ama sevgi dolu, bireysel g\u00fc\u00e7te ama b\u00fct\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn nefesinde ili\u015fkilerin hep ger\u00e7e\u011fimiz oldu\u011fu bir hayat olsun bizimkisi\u2026 Her birimizin kendi \u00f6zelliklerimizin ve g\u00fczelliklerimizin bilincinde oldu\u011fu\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Seviyorum ve \u00e7ok k\u0131skan\u0131yorum diyen bir sevdi\u011finiz de varsa..<\/p>\n<p>Bilin ki korkuyor sizi kaybetmekten, bir daha sizin gibisini bulamamaktan ve bilin ki sizin yan\u0131n\u0131zda kendini de\u011fersiz hissediyor\u2026 Ve bunun bilinciyle al\u0131n nefeslerinizi\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Sar\u0131ld\u0131m Herbirimize..<\/p>\n<p>Sevgimle,<\/p>\n<p>Banu<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>K\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131n ne oldu\u011funu soranlar olmu\u015f aran\u0131zda\u2026 Daha detayl\u0131 anlatmam\u0131 istemi\u015fsiniz arada anlatt\u0131klar\u0131mdan\u2026 O zaman\u00a0 ba\u015flayay\u0131m ben yava\u015ftan.-) \u2018\u2019 Seni bir \u015fi\u015feye koyup cebimde ta\u015f\u0131mak istiyorum\u2026 B\u00f6yle arada bir gitti\u011fim masada [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1763,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":[],"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueState":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","_VenueShowMap":false,"_VenueShowMapLink":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1762","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-genel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1762","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1762"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1762\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1764,"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1762\/revisions\/1764"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1763"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1762"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1762"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1762"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}