{"id":1742,"date":"2021-07-08T11:16:34","date_gmt":"2021-07-08T08:16:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/?p=1742"},"modified":"2021-07-08T11:16:34","modified_gmt":"2021-07-08T08:16:34","slug":"su-once-ben-demeler","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/?p=1742","title":{"rendered":"\u015eu &#8221; \u00d6nce Ben &#8221; demeler&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Aran\u0131zda di\u015fleri hi\u00e7 olmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fi s\u00f6ylenen yerden farkl\u0131 yerde \u00e7\u0131kan oldu mu bilmiyorum\u2026 O bir di\u015f y\u00fcz\u00fcnden b\u00fct\u00fcn di\u015flerin yerlerinin de\u011fi\u015fmesine, kaymas\u0131na, oynamas\u0131na \u015fahitlik etmek durumunda olan..?<\/p>\n<p>Ya da domino ta\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 dizip hi\u00e7 oynad\u0131n\u0131z m\u0131 mesela? O tek bir domino ta\u015f\u0131n\u0131n d\u00fc\u015fmesiyle ona ba\u011fl\u0131, ona dokunan, onun etraf\u0131nda olan t\u00fcm dominolar\u0131n d\u00f6k\u00fclmesine \u015fahitlik eden?<\/p>\n<p>Teras\u0131nda giderlerinden biri suyu ak\u0131tmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fi kadar ak\u0131tmad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda di\u011fer giderlerin zorland\u0131\u011f\u0131na, hatta evinin su ald\u0131\u011f\u0131na \u015fahitlik eden oldu mu ya da?<\/p>\n<p>Veya i\u015f arkada\u015f\u0131 s\u00fcrekli hasta oldu\u011fundan gelemedi\u011fi i\u00e7in ve i\u015fin d\u00fczg\u00fcn gitmesi gerekti\u011finden s\u00fcrekli i\u015fi artan, buna ba\u011fl\u0131 artan stresiyle kendi i\u015f d\u0131\u015f\u0131 \u00e7evresini de etkileyen?<\/p>\n<p>Bu liste b\u00f6yle uzar gider\u2026Neden gidiyor, nereye gidiyor ona do\u011fru yava\u015ftan y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flayay\u0131m ben de.-))<\/p>\n<p>Bu d\u00fcnyadaki en birincil ve \u00f6nemli i\u015flerimizden biri olabildi\u011fimiz kadar \u2018\u2019ben\u2019\u2019 odakl\u0131 olmak, o bene olabildi\u011fi kadar iyi bakmakt\u0131r\u2026<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>H\u00fccre bozulmas\u0131yla ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 biliyorsunuz b\u00fct\u00fcn hastal\u0131klar\u0131n.. Her h\u00fccrenin en muhte\u015fem haliyle \u0131\u015f\u0131ld\u0131yor olmas\u0131, \u0131\u015f\u0131lt\u0131l\u0131 bir bedenin olmazsa olmaz\u0131 ya\u2026Sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir toplum, sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir aile, sa\u011flam bir arkada\u015f grubu, t\u0131k\u0131r\u0131nda i\u015fleyen i\u015fler i\u00e7in.. Ben\u2019e sahip \u00e7\u0131kmak \u00e7ok \u00f6nemli\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Burada en \u00e7ok kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131lan \u015fey sar\u0131r\u0131m Ben\u2019e de\u011fer veren ve Egoist<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>olan ki\u015fi aras\u0131ndaki ince fark\u2026Onun alt\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7izerek belirtmem gerekirse;<\/p>\n<p>Benci- Bencil- Bene de\u011fer veren ki\u015fi \u2018\u2019 Ben \u00e7ok de\u011ferliyim ve sen de, siz de, her biriniz \u00e7ok de\u011ferlisiniz der..\u2019\u2019 Etraf\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6ren herkesle bu inan\u00e7la, bu fark\u0131ndal\u0131kla, bu sayg\u0131yla, bu \u00f6zenle, bu destek ve birlik bilinciyle birlikte olur ve ili\u015fki kurar\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Egoist ise, \u2018\u2019 Ben \u00e7ok de\u011ferliyim.. Sen? Tabi ki de\u011filsin , benim kadar de\u011ferli asla de\u011filsin \u2018\u2019 der\u2026Bu ki\u015fi de yine ili\u015fkilerini bu bili\u015fle y\u00f6netirken, tacizkard\u0131r, manip\u00fclatiftir, derinde hissettti\u011fi de\u011fersizlik hissini egoistli\u011fi ile \u00f6rtmeye ve korku ve k\u0131zg\u0131nl\u0131kla y\u00f6netilen davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 tacizleriyle ve zorbal\u0131\u011f\u0131yla y\u00f6netmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r.<\/p>\n<p>\u0130\u015fte bu egoistlerin yapt\u0131klar\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcnden, \u00f6nce ben demeyi \u00f6\u011frenmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan ki\u015filer bazen zorlan\u0131r\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Neden mi? \u00d6nce ben diyememelerinin sebebi genelde, \u2018\u2019sen kimsin ki ?\u2019\u2019 diyen bir egoistle kurulmu\u015f- ya\u015fanm\u0131\u015f ili\u015fkileridir\u2026 O y\u00fczden, o ona ac\u0131 \u00e7ektirmi\u015f o egoist gibi olmamak i\u00e7in, \u00f6nce ben demeyi \u00f6\u011frenme s\u00fcreci biraz uzayabilir\u2026 Burada da tabi ki bir kurban<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>&#8211; zalim ili\u015fkisinin dengesizli\u011fi de s\u00f6z konusu ki, o ba\u015fka bir g\u00fcn\u00fcn konusu olsun\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Afrika\u2019da zaman\u0131nda mini bir \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fman\u0131n i\u00e7inde bir yerlerde her \u00e7ocu\u011fa- at\u0131yorum- \u00fc\u00e7 elma verilmi\u015f ve senin i\u00e7in en de\u011ferli olan arkada\u015flar\u0131nla payla\u015fabilirsin denmi\u015f\u2026 Grubun i\u00e7inde hi\u00e7 bir \u00e7ocuk elmas\u0131n\u0131 bir di\u011feri ile payla\u015fmam\u0131\u015f\u2026.Herkesin \u00fc\u00e7 elmas\u0131 oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in en de\u011ferli ili\u015fkilerinin kendileri ile oldu\u011funa karar vermi\u015fler\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Elmas\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6nce bitiren olmu\u015f, elmas\u0131n\u0131 hayvan\u0131na veren olmu\u015f, elmas\u0131n\u0131 annesine g\u00f6t\u00fcren olmu\u015f.. yine durum de\u011fi\u015fmemi\u015f..<\/p>\n<p>Neden bunu anlatt\u0131m\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Bazen her birimiz \u00fc\u00e7 elmayla bu d\u00fcnyaya geldi\u011fimizi unutuyoruz da ondan\u2026 O da ba\u015fka bir g\u00fcn\u00fcn konusu olsun ama yine\u2026<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Konuya geri d\u00f6nersek, \u00e7ok da\u011f\u0131ld\u0131m bug\u00fcn.-)<\/p>\n<p>\u00d6nceli\u011fi kendiniz yap\u0131p, kendinize zaman ay\u0131rmak neden \u00f6nemli?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Siz ne kadar mutlu sevdikleriniz o kadar mutlu\u2026<\/li>\n<li>Siz kendi ger\u00e7ekli\u011finizde sizi saran herseyin merkezindesiniz.. Ve sizin e\u011filip b\u00fck\u00fclmeye ba\u015flaman\u0131z, etraf\u0131n\u0131zda sizinle var olan, dokunuzun par\u00e7as\u0131 olan herkesin ve herseyini sallanmas\u0131na sebebiyet verecektir.. O sebeple sevdiklerinize olan sevginizi ve onlara verdi\u011finiz de\u011feri g\u00f6stermenin en do\u011fru ve en etkin yolu \u00f6nce kendi iyi olu\u015f halinize odaklanmakt\u0131r.<\/li>\n<li>Kendinizle ili\u015fkiniz ve kendi de\u011ferinizde var olmay\u0131 se\u00e7mek \u00f6zellikler \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131za sunaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131z \u00f6rnek olu\u015flu\u011funuzla \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n daha kendi de\u011ferini bilen ve davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131yla bunu ya\u015fayabilmeyi se\u00e7en bireyler olmalar\u0131na destek verecektir.<\/li>\n<li>Ki\u015finin kendi besleyeni kendi kalbindedir. Kendi \u00f6z\u00fcyle ba\u011flant\u0131 i\u00e7in kendine vakit ay\u0131ran bireyler d\u0131\u015f d\u00fcnya- \u00f6zellikle madde beslenmesiyle b\u00fcy\u00fcyeceklerini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeyeceklerdir. Bu da ki\u015fiye hem zaman hem de para kazand\u0131racakt\u0131r.<\/li>\n<li>En \u00e7ok en \u00e7ok annelerimize- \u00f6zellikle yeni annelerimizde kendini unutma hali ve \u00e7ocu\u011fun etraf\u0131nda kendini helak etme hali g\u00f6rebiliyoruz\u2026 Kendinden ge\u00e7mi\u015flik, yorgunluktan \u00f6l\u00fcrken orda ortaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar, i\u015ften ko\u015fup \u00e7ocu\u011fa sar\u0131lmalar san\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi \u00e7ocuk i\u00e7in de\u011fildir.. Bitmi\u015f anne enerjisini doldurmak i\u00e7in genelde fark\u0131nda bile olmadan \u00e7ocu\u011funun saf enerjisini kullan\u0131yordur. Tavsiyem yeni annelerimize, kendi beslenme saatinizi ka\u00e7\u0131rmay\u0131n\u2026 Duygusal- fiziksel- zihinsel kendinizi \u00e7ocu\u011funuzla ge\u00e7irdi\u011finiz saatlerin d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda buldu\u011funuz ve besledi\u011finiz yerler kesin olsun.. Unutmay\u0131n; \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 besleyip b\u00fcy\u00fctmekken i\u015fimiz, t\u00fckenip onlardan beslenmemeye \u00f6zen g\u00f6stermeliyiz\u2026<\/li>\n<li>\u0130\u015f konusunda kendini kaybetmek genelde korkulardan- yerinin doldurulabilece\u011finden- ba\u015far\u0131 ve stat\u00fc ihtiyac\u0131ndan- paran\u0131n<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z i\u015ften geldi\u011fine dair inanc\u0131m\u0131zdan- yokluk bilincinden- toplumsal \u015fartlanmalardan ve biraz da \u015fuursuzluktan olmaktad\u0131r.. Kendini beslemeyen, doyurmayan, b\u00fcy\u00fctmeyen, kendine b\u00fcy\u00fcmek-dinlenmek-e\u011flenmek- beslenmek i\u00e7in alan a\u00e7mayan bireyler tek kullan\u0131ml\u0131k ve yeri doldurulabilir piller gibidir\u2026 Kendinizi l\u00fctfen \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rken unutmay\u0131n\u0131z\u2026<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Daha yazar\u0131m\u2026<\/p>\n<p>\u00c7ok uzar bu i\u015f.-))<\/p>\n<p>Ki\u015fi kendine zaman ay\u0131rmal\u0131 kurdu\u011fu, kurmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 her \u015feyin sa\u011flaml\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in : ailesi- arkada\u015flar\u0131- i\u015fi- paras\u0131- sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve etraf\u0131nda yaratmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 her \u015fey i\u00e7in\u2026<\/p>\n<p>G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcz d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda her \u015fey bir dursun, bu benim ben zaman\u0131m diyebilmek \u00e7ok \u00e7ok \u00e7ok \u00f6nemlidir ve ki\u015fi bunu diyemiyorsa\u2026 \u0130vedilikle \u00f6\u011frenmelidir.-)<\/p>\n<p>\u00d6p\u00fcyorum her birinizi\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Sar\u0131ld\u0131m<\/p>\n<p>Banu<\/p>\n<p>8 Temmuz 2021<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Aran\u0131zda di\u015fleri hi\u00e7 olmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fi s\u00f6ylenen yerden farkl\u0131 yerde \u00e7\u0131kan oldu mu bilmiyorum\u2026 O bir di\u015f y\u00fcz\u00fcnden b\u00fct\u00fcn di\u015flerin yerlerinin de\u011fi\u015fmesine, kaymas\u0131na, oynamas\u0131na \u015fahitlik etmek durumunda olan..? Ya da domino [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1743,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":[],"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueState":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","_VenueShowMap":false,"_VenueShowMapLink":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1742","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-genel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1742","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1742"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1742\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1744,"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1742\/revisions\/1744"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1743"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1742"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1742"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.banukalayci.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1742"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}